The need to revisit humanity!

Technology. It's defined as "the application of scientific knowledge to find practical solutions to everyday problems". But what if technology itself poses a problem to real life situations? Just yesterday I was enjoying a saunter down the road and I noticed a family sitting in an eating hangout. The parents were attempting to entertain their children and were trying to hold a conversation while the children would just stick to their mobile phones facebooking. The parents helplessly tried but obviously lost to the virtual company their children seemed to enjoy more. Aren't all these gadgets just taking the "family" out of family time? A hangout should be more like the gadgets "hang out" while people hangout together.

I have examples in my facebook friendlist that seem to take their virtual life way too seriously. My newsfeed last night had the menu that would even give the chefs from Masterchef Australia an inferiority complex. Who in this whole wide world would be interested if you're having a "potato and chorizo gratin or frosted red velvet cupcakes?" Why not enjoy the moment and savour the flavour of these delicacies rather than advertise the menu card on Instagram and Facebook?  I'm pretty sure even before social networking sites came into existence people didn't have a problem digesting food without publicising it. I feel the day's not far when people post "Pooping in Marriott, awesome bathrooms. The designer commodes just add to the pressure inside my butt and I feel I am more outgoing as a person now". People are more interested in showing off what they do rather than enjoying what they do. It's like "Post about it or it didn't happen". There's a senseless race between people to showcase who's life is more happening and interesting. Funnier are the trends on Twitter where even a person going to bathe has to inform the world before doing it. Not like there were plumbers in his followers list that if the shower stopped working a plumber would immediately be standing outside his bathroom holding a towel in one hand and his repair kit in another.

What was thought of as a means to simplify life and entertain us when we're bored seems to have become the 24*7 "go-to haven" for people today. People officially go to bed to sleep at 10 but "sleep" at 2 or 3 in the morning thanks to the addiction to social networking sites. Virtual relationships materialise on whatsapp at 10:00 pm and end at 2:00 am when there's an argument regarding a "last seen" feature; mostly the first sign of a cheating partner. I'm thankful to god that babies can't be produced over the internet. Atleast that keeps the charm of personal touch in place. Somewhere these gadgets have distanced us from our families and if you see the bigger picture, from reality itself. Personally speaking I now have a "no cellphones" clause with friends I'm hanging out with because seeing a phone getting more attention from your friend than you can be a bit harsh on your self-esteem. People seem to have lost the value of other people around them thanks to smartphones. Smarter the phones, dumber the users. Just try getting rid of your phone and see how much more time you actually have on your hands. You could do so much more if you actually didn't let a gadget dictate terms to you.

Infact what technology has done is helped people master the art of surviving in isolation. People actually prefer staying alone and would rather be on a date with a gadget all day than talk to homosapiens around them. They sleep at a place not which they find comfortable but at a place where there is a charging location nearby for their phone.They vent their anger and send feelers to people through songs and status updates on facebook but don't confront the people to solve the problem once and for all! Too much of anything is bad. Einstein once said "It has become apallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity". Hope it doesn't come true. So give importance to people around you.  Live outdoors and don't just be confined to the 4 walls of your house. Let technology be a "part of your life" and not Life itself because when you die gadgets won't remember you but people you shared your life with..WILL. 

Life does give you a 'Second Chance'!

So it all starts with me taking admission in a film school in Mumbai where my role model Shahrukh Khan learnt acting- The Barry John Studio. And if you're wondering why I joined it to begin with? Then well, its because I nourished a dream of becoming an actor in the Hindi Film Industry right since childhood. First day of the film school and I was all excited to meet new people with different backgrounds sharing the same dream. For me, it was a big step towards my ultimate goal - to see a larger than life version of myself on a 40*40 hoarding of my film in one of  the biggest film industries in the world. But since I'm pretty munificent, I wouldn't mind a hot female lead actress sharing space alongside me on the hoarding either.

Coming to the first day at the film school, all the 18 students in the batch gathered around the table beside the reception sitting anxiously. Nervousness writ on their faces, even the smile seemed like a cloak to hide the tension. I was on the other hand just excited to watch the acting Guru Barry John live..in person! Yeah I sound like a starstruck idiot but well, for a middle-class guy who preserved the cutout of this studio's number for 12 years it was all a fairytale. So, the introduction session begins with Barry sir giving us the tips and nitty-gritties of acting. All through his speech I was sitting there motionless, just captivated by his presence. He told us a story about the Chinese legend Zen. Once, a student came to him to become his disciple and follow his learnings. The student started speaking, introduced himself and went on to explain his family background while Zen was pouring his tea through a sieve. Completely unaware of Zen's apathy he went on blabbering about his previous learnings and experiences in life. While this was happening, Zen continued pouring tea into the cup even after the cup was filled to the brim and was now overflowing. Seeing this the student put a halt to his chatter and told Zen that the tea was overflowing and was getting wasted. Turning to him Zen said that he was just like the cup overflowing with tea. Since his mind is already crammed with everything there isn't any scope to learn anything new. So Zen told him to unlearn everything and come with an empty mind if he wanted to imbibe Zen's teachings and ideals. Similarly we were told to unlearn whatever we had learnt in the past and just live in the moment.

Amidst us was a 42 year old gentleman named Sameer aka Sam (that's how he preferred being called as it sounded hip and cool). Dressed in a white t-shirt and a jeans he smiled and had a calm demeanor. However I must admit, it was weird coming across an aspiring actor of the age of my father in a film school amongst 18 and 20 year olds. "Isn't 42 too big an age to pursue a dream of becoming an actor?" was the question he could almost sense in everybody's eyes. However he seemed unruffled by the situation and sat beside me during the first lecture. Proceedings started with a Q & A round with all of us sitting in a semicircle and one of us having to sit in the centre while being bombarded with questions from the remaining students in a sequential order after which the questioning would turn open-house! (as in then anybody could shoot the trembling student sitting in the centre with his barrage of questions irrespective of the order) . To get rid of any butterflies in my stomach  I almost thought of this as my first press conference after becoming a superstar (I know I sound like a lunatic but then this field isn't for the sane people anyways). "Sam, you go first" said our trainer in his deep baritone voice. And he sat in the middle folding his legs almost like an obedient kid in primary school.

First question "Hey Sam! no offence but what made you join a film school at this age?"
My belief in the fact that no offence always has to be followed by something offensive got reinstated.

Sam- "None taken mate. It's just that sometimes circumstances don't allow you to pursue your dream at the time you want to". This reply aroused my curiosity. Next question followed..

"What circumstances are we talking about?"
Poor Sam must have thought whether he was sitting amongst his "to be friends" or a bunch of C.B.I. officials waiting to tear him apart.

"Well, I always had a dream of becoming an actor. I used to act in school plays, dance a bit but my parents never considered it seriously. Dad wanted me to become an engineer and then take care of our apple orchards which is also our family business. He told me to either work or he'd disown me as he felt acting was what people who didn't have anything to do in life take up. So, I never got the opportunity or the right platform to learn something I love doing"

(Okie, firstly why engineering when his father had to make him a caretaker of his apple orchards? And secondly acting is for people who don't have anything to do in life? SAM'S DAD! SERIOUSLY? I'M OFFENDED)

Next question followed "Are you married and if yes, how many children do you have?"
" Yes, I've been a prisoner for 12 years now and have a 5 year old baby girl who lives with her mother in Shimla". The prisoner tag got all of us smiling.

Next one "Does you daughter miss you?"
(I looked at the person who asked this question as condom advertisements finally made sense to me. Half of us were facepalming ourselves. In my mind I knew I had to stay away from this person as he was going to be a serious threat to both - my patience and common sense)

"That you'll have to ask her. All I can say is I certainly miss my daughter"- replied an almost emotional Sam with a twinkle in his eye. It got me thinking as to how desperately he wanted to pursue his passion as obviously if he decided to stay away from his wife and daughter, he must be dead serious about his ambition.

Next question "What was your last job like?"
Sam- "You'd love to hear this. I was last working as the hospitality manager in a resort in Bangkok and had to take care of the spa whilst dealing with beautiful Russian and Thai masseurs"
(Beautiful Russian and Thai masseurs? Let me just say this was the only moment I wished I was in his place)

Next question "Considering that our industry runs on parameters of looks, don't you think you could lose out on that aspect?"

Pat came Sam's reply " If you're referring to my face, I don't need a facial. Who needs a facial when he has 3 dogs to lick his face?"
We all laughed our hearts out at this.

Sam's humour -1. Circumstances-0.

Next question "What's the most romantic thing you have ever said to your wife?"

"Baby, come to bed" replied Sam , at his wittiest best. The answer received a huge roar and an applause. What else do you expect from a crowd that's young, unmarried and high on sex hormones- testosterone and estrogen?

Then came the next question "Any regrets in life?"
Sam- " Well, the fact that I couldn't muster the guts to marry this woman I always loved. Somehow I couldn't overcome the webs of shyness and propose my love to her and by the time I could, she was already taken. "

Whoa! Uncle Sam in his elements. Now that's interesting!

Next question asked "Do you still miss her?"
Sam - "I still miss her and can't get her out of my head. Though when I'm in the toilet I don't miss her, so that's a relief!"
Sam's humour -2. Circumstances-0. 

Next one that followed "If you still miss her, aren't you cheating on your wife?"
(OOPS! That got too close and personal)
However Sam replied "I love my wife and don't regret marrying her. I have a gorgeous daughter who brightens my day like sunshine. All I mean is that the moments that I spent with that woman were so beautiful and worth cherishing that I can never forget her."

Next one "What is your daughter's name and why did you keep it?"
Sam - "Her name's Ayra. It's an Arabic name that means respectful. As per the Hindu traditions when a child is born, according to their time of birth a letter is assigned to them with which the child's name is supposed to start. So the letter was "A". All I did was google some names starting from A and liked this one. So me and my wife chose it.
(Now who the hell said Internet doesn't do good things?  ALL HAIL THE INTERNET)

Next question "What's your favourite cuisine?"
Sam- " I'd list 10 dishes each belonging to a different cuisine so I'd just sum it up saying I'm a foodie and love to eat!"

Then comes another  " What do you do when you are depressed?"
Sam- "I hear songs. They are my *go to* option when I'm feeling

low. I love listening to songs of Kishore Kumar. And by the way I love that one song from Justin Beiber too that goes *As long as you love me* I don't know why so many people hate that kid."

Next question "Who's your favourite actor?"

"The one and only Mr. Amitabh Bachchan", replied Sam.

Taking a cue another student asks "Why Amitabh Bachchan?" to which Sam replied - "Keeping aside the fact that he's a brilliant actor and a master at his art the fact that he is dignified. He has set high standards and the story of his struggle is what legends are made of. He respects his parents, has their values and most importantly the fact that he's disciplined. To have that passion and desire to work at his age is just unimaginable."

Last 2 questions left. Here comes the penultimate one "What are your hobbies?"

"My hobbies are singing, dancing, playing the guitar. However since this finger of mine got chopped off in an accident I couldn't play certain chords so I had to give up on the guitar" - said Sam flashing his half broken finger of his right hand.

And finally comes my chance to ask Sam the last question.
And I put forward my question "What's your biggest fear in life?"

 "That any kid like you should never have to go through my journey. I love my parents and wish that in all the seven births I take, I get blessed with parents like mine. I just wish their permission to allow me to pursue my dream came a bit earlier" he said, with a smile that was genuine but showed his helplessness.
He continued "My entire youth has gone in doing something which I never really wanted to do. I loved a woman I couldn't get and nurtured a dream I wasn't allowed to follow. In the former case I got the opportunity but missed it and in the latter never got the opportunity. Somehow I feel I have failed on both counts. I want to be an actor and will work hard, earn enough so that I can feed my wife and daughter here in Mumbai because as you know Mumbai is a very expensive place to survive. Presently my wife's working as a lecturer in a college and takes care of my daughter. So, the motivation to see my daughter smiling and in my arms is the only thing that keeps me going. Being alone in a big city can be intimidating, almost depressing to an extent as I have no friends here. Somehow if I could sum up my entire life with a couple of words it would be unfulfilling/incomplete".

Sam Sir was teary eyed. Yes, he was now "SIR" for me. Since each one of us sitting in the hall realised what value our dreams occupy in our lives..we all cried a bit inside hearing him. He had earned our respect. Moreover he turned into an inspiration for us. I replied "Sir, you have 17 friends over here so never say you don't have any friends. What happened in the past was past. You are here with us now and are one amongst us. When Boman Irani can do it in his 40's, you sure can rock the 40's as well. Here's your second chance!"

Sir just came forward and hugged me with a smile. Here was a man who dared to shed all his inhibitions in front of complete strangers. That one moment I will never forget.

I am even more focused on my dream now. Thanks to people like Sam Sir that come in your life and show you how lucky you are with all the support from your parents. I wish every child was as fortunate as us. I wish all parents were understanding. Life can be cruel to some of us. But then if your dream and your passion is all that's present  in your flesh and blood then nothing can empower you. No fear can belittle you. So forget the cliche "There's no second chance!"

 Let's raise a toast to the spirit that Sam Sir represents "Life does give you a second chance!"

My first day at the gym in a new city!

So here I am in Mumbai. Since, I always wanted to be an actor in Bollywood, this is the place where it all starts- the city of dreams. Till now whenever people asked me about my ambition and I said that I wanted to be an actor, no one asked me if I knew how to act. All I was ever asked was "Have you started gymming and built a six pack?". Agreed! Looking good on screen matters, but if only gymming was the criteria to be an actor then I think all gym instructors would be in Bollywood and not working in Gyms for a meagre salary. However, I wanted to build a decent physique so I joined a gym near my place.

Come the first day. All excited in my gym wear and inspired by Arnold Schwarzenegger's posters (I admit, I googled how to spell Schwarzenegger) I entered the gym and I loved what I saw. My sight fell on people on treadmills, cycling machines; sweating it out as if they were preparing for the Tour 'De France competition. Then what welcomed me were the moans and groans from the other section and NO! I wish it were that but I meant people lifting heavy weights. My personal trainer greets me and after the introduction we get to serious business. Just as I was lifting weights, I notice a girl doing squats. Her butt so shapely it resembled a pair of binoculars. It's like each time she went down, I got the energy to do an extra rep of dumbbells. In the break that I took between the workout I thought to find out how she looked from the front because many times a sexy back can fool you and when you actually see the other side it turns out to be tragic.

I steal a glance at the mirror in front of which she was squatting and Voila! It wasn't tragic but magic. I wasn't the only one who held her in high regards, nine other guys staring at her too agreed with me..or atleast their stares said so. However since my trainer told me to get on to the cycling machine I obeyed his orders. Yes, inspite of the attraction I didn't lose my concentration. Signs of true dedication isn't it? Just 2 minutes into cycling and what do I see? That same girl occupies a machine around me and starts cycling. I must have performed the Bhangra in my mind atleast a hundred times while thanking god for his lovely setting. We both were cycling side by side. I never knew what awkward was until I tried to start a conversation with her.

 "I must say you have really toned legs" I said.

*WHAT? Really toned legs? This is a girl you idiot not KFC. I thought to myself and almost punched myself with boxing gloves aka Mohammad Ali*

"Hahaha seriously?" she said, smiling at me.Wait, my stupidity actually made her laugh. Pat on the back, first battle won.

 "Hi, I'm Vaibhav and you?"
"Hi, I'm Anjali, nice to meet you" she said as we shook hands.

 Then we got talking and how the 10 minutes of cycling turned  into half an hour of "Lets leave Lance Armstrong behind today" I have no clue. I was just happy I had some company to talk to and now sharing awkward glances could finally be replaced with confident smiles. "See you tomorrow" I said as I realised I'd be hanging in a Biology Lab like a skeleton if I cycled any further. "See you Vaibhav" she said smiling back. My first day at the gym giving me a new friend in a new city.